The Ohr Hachaim Hakadosh used to spend a lot of time in the fields and forests. Alone with his thoughts and the beautiful scenery surrounding him, he would pour out his heart to Hashem. There were so many challenges and difficulties in the world, so many people who desperately needed salvation, and he would beseech Hashem to help them.
One day, the Ohr Hachaim walked through the woods as he often did, in the midst of intense prayer, completely oblivious to the world around him. When he finally opened his eyes and looked around, he was startled to realize that he had no idea where he was. Without him noticing it, he’d wandered deep into the forest, and now, he hadn’t the faintest idea how he would get out.
It was nearly nighttime, and the Ohr Hachaim knew that it was imperative for him to find his way out of the forest before night fell. However, finding his way out proved to be impossible. He found himself going in circles, trekking through the trees only to find himself in the same place he started. When dark descended upon the woods, he was completely and utterly lost.
It would be impossible, and even dangerous, to try to find his way out of the forest at night, but remaining where he was, he was easy fodder for the animals of prey and that was not an option either. Instead, the Ohr Hachaim climbed a tall tree, where he waited out the night.
The night was long and cold. The Ohr Hachaim hadn’t eaten the entire day, and he was tired from his adventure, but he could not risk falling asleep and losing his grip on the narrow tree limb that he was resting on. From below, he could hear the crackling of leaves and the snapping of twigs as animals roamed the forest floor, and he only hoped it wasn’t animals that were adept at tree climbing.
At long last, morning arrived, and the woods were once again lit up by the sunlight streaming through the treetops. The strange shapes that had appeared so frightening the night before turned out to be harmless bushes and branches in the daylight. The Ohr Hachaim lowered himself from his tree and began to seek his way out of the forest.
He walked and walked for long hours, but did not find himself any closer to the opening of the woods. If anything, he had been going in the wrong direction, and was now even deeper than before. Soon, he encountered a thin stream, and he gratefully drank some water. There were also berries growing, but he could not recognize whether they were poisonous or not, and so he refrained from eating them despite his acute hunger.
The end of the second day was coming hastily closer, and the Ohr Hachaim realized that he would not have the strength to continue on much longer without any food. He redoubled the fervency of his tefillos as he trudged onward, understanding the very real possibility of a tragic end to his story.
A few minutes later, he reached a spot in the forest where the trees began to thin out considerably. The thought was comforting, because the presence of less trees could mean that there existed civilization somewhere nearby, but as far as his eye could see, there were no homes in the vicinity. In every direction he peered, all he saw was trees and more trees.
With his rapidly waning strength, he climbed the tallest tree he saw, hoping to get a better view from higher up. From his higher vantage point on the tree, he could see much further in all directions, and he carefully tried to spot a sign of life. Perhaps he would see smoke coming from a chimney?
And then, he saw it.
In the distance, a lone house stood between the trees. It was hard to see exactly what type of house it was, and if there were any other homes beside it, but it was there, a real house, and that meant that there were people nearby. If he succeeded in reaching the house, and if the people inside took pity on him and agreed to give him food, he would have a chance to live.
The Ohr Hachaim remained atop the tree for another few moments, calculating the best way to reach the house. Then he scampered down the bark and began walking. Night was nearly upon the forest, and there was little time to lose.
With his last dregs of strength, he made his way over fallen branches and through thick brush toward the house. As he neared it, he began to fear that perhaps the people living inside were there for less than innocent reasons. Perhaps, instead of helping him, they would take advantage of his helplessness. Nevertheless, he really did not have a better option. He was starving and near collapse, and the house was his only realistic hope for survival.
When he reached the house, it was a lot larger than it had looked from the treetop. The Ohr Hachaim knocked on the door, but there was no answer. He knocked again and again, pleading, “Please, open up! Open up!” However, only silence, met his pleas.
The Ohr Hachaim was so weak at that point that he could barely walk, let alone wait for the owner to make his appearance. With no choice, he turned the knob and pushed open the door. “Hello? Is anyone home? Hello?!”
The only response was silence.
The Ohr Hachaim looked around. He was in a very large room, furnished with a long table. Bowls of fruit graced the table, and the aroma of cooked food filled the air. “Hello?” the Ohr Hachaim called again. “Is anyone home?”
He walked into the adjoining room, which was even bigger than the first. There were rows of beds lined up, all of them neatly made. The Ohr Hachaim estimated that there were forty beds in all, and he had no idea who they were for, but the room was empty of people.
It seemed that no one was home.
The last thing he wanted to do was eat someone’s food without permission, but it was a matter of life and death. The Ohr Hachaim could not survive much longer without food. He did not want to touch the food in the pots, not sure what their kashrus status was, but the fruits were certainly kosher. He washed his hands, sat down by the table, and ate some fruits until he felt the life slowly seeping back into his body.
Once he was sated, his exhaustion hit him full force. He had spent two days climbing trees and walking through the forest, without any sleep. Thoroughly fatigued, he fell onto one of the beds and was soon tightly asleep.
And that was when the people who lived in the house finally returned.
Had he been awake, he would have surely been frightened by their crude speech and the dangerous looks in their eyes, but he slept peacefully through the commotion as they jumped off their horses and stomped inside.
The house that the Ohr Hachaim had stumbled upon was a haven for a band of thieves, one of the most vicious criminal gangs in the area. They’d been out all day, killing and stealing, and they now returned to their base, hungry and tired.
It took only a second for them to realize that someone had been there in their absence. Someone had dared enter their lair when they were gone, and who knew what damage he’d done. The chair he’d used was still out of its place, and some of the peels of the fruit he’d eaten was still on the table. The thieves looked at each other with murder in their eyes, incensed by the audacity of their intruder.
“Don’t worry, boys, we’ll catch him and give him what he deserves,” their leader, muscular and tall, with a shock of red hair above menacing looking eyes, assured them.
“He’s still here!” someone cried from the sleeping quarters, where he’d gone to put down his pack.
They all rushed into the room and were shocked to find that the intruder was indeed still there, sleeping soundly on a bed as though he owned the place. “He’s a Jew!” a burly robber, with a jagged scar running down his left cheek, noted angrily, taking in the Ohr Hachaim’s peyos and Jewish mode of dress.
“A Jew!” the others jeered. “Let’s give it to him!”
“Yeah, let’s give it to him good!”
“I don’t know about you, but I’m starving,” one of the thieves cut in. “We just got home after a hard day of work, and I need a good meal. He’s sleeping now anyway. Let’s eat first, and then we’ll have the strength to give him what he deserves.”
“Great idea!” the scarred thief pounded him on the back.
They sat down around the table and began to eat, gorging themselves on the hot food and fresh fruit. Wine was passed around, and they took turns taking sips from the bottles. When they were nice and full from their meal, plus drunk from the wine, they were ready to deal with the Jew who dared to infiltrate their base.
The redheaded leader unsheathed his sword, the sword that had tasted the blood and flesh of too many humans to count. A large crowd followed behind him as he went to the next room to rouse the Ohr Hachaim. He poked him lightly with the sword a few times, but the Ohr Hachaim was too deeply asleep to feel anything. Cursing, the leader stabbed him a little harder.
The Ohr Hachaim opened his eyes blearily, moaning in pain. It took him a moment to orient himself, but when he realized where he was, he quickly sat up, realizing that he was in mortal danger. The thieves surrounded him from all sides and marched him into the main room, where they proceeded to question him.
“Who are you? Why are you here? Who gave you permission to walk in here?!” they demanded. “This is private property, and you can’t just steal food and shelter!”
“I’m telling you that I never stole in my life,” the Ohr Hachaim responded, his knees trembling. “I never told a lie in my life either, and every word I say is the truth. I was lost in the forest, and I didn’t eat in two days. I banged on the door, and no one answered. I figured that whoever lives here would surely understand that I only took some food to keep myself alive.”
Coarse laughter met his words. “What do you mean, we would understand that you needed to keep yourself alive?” they hissed at him. “We don’t give people to eat, we take their lives! And not only that, but you are also a Jew! We are going to cut you apart, limb by limb, and give your flesh to the animals to eat.”
The Ohr Hachaim’s entire body began to tremble as he realized that his end was near.
“A trial, a trial,” one of the robbers called from the back. “We can’t finish him off without a trial.”
“Sure, let’s make a trial right here and now,” the leader agreed. “Anyone have anything good to say about this guy?” He waited a beat, and of course, no one came forward to defend the hapless Ohr Hachaim. “In the absence of any defense, I hereby pronounce him guilty for trespassing and stealing. I will personally sever his head and every other limb on his body.”
The Ohr Hachaim closed his eyes and began to prepare himself for his death. He recited vidui and Shema, and prayed that his death would serve as an atonement for all his sins. Then he waited for the moment of death to overtake him.
He waited another minute, but nothing happened. Opening his eyes, he saw that the lead robber was looking at him with a strange expression on his face. He was swinging his menacing sword slowly as he surveyed the Ohr Hachaim.
“I want to speak to the guilty man privately, before I kill him,” the leader suddenly announced. “Come with me,” he ordered the Ohr Hachaim, leading him out of the house.
“Aw, can’t you kill him now?” one of the robbers called out, only to be treated to a withering stare from the redheaded leader.
Powerless against their leader, the robbers clustered impatiently around the doorway, waiting for the victim to return.
The leader led the Ohr Hachaim into the forest, putting some distance between them and the house. When he was confident that they were out of his gang’s earshot, he turned to the terrified Ohr Hachaim.
But the murderous look in his eyes had been replaced with a pleading expression, and the words he said next shocked the Ohr Hachaim to the core.
“Rebbi!” the leader cried. “Rebbi, look at me carefully. Don’t you recognize me?”
Confused, the Ohr Hachaim looked at him, but the face he saw was completely unfamiliar. He saw cold eyes, coarse red hair, and the grim expression of the robbers’ leader. “I don’t believe we know each other,” he said carefully.
“Rebbi, you taught me Torah,” the leader insisted. He placed his hands over his beard, covering it. “I was young back then, and my beard hadn’t grown in. Do you recognize me now?”
The Ohr Hachaim looked again and his face paled. “You are Akiva ben Shimon,” he gasped in astonishment.
“That’s right,” the leader confirmed.
“What are you doing here?!” the Ohr Hachaim asked, his voice pained. “This is a band of thieves, of murderers! How in the world did you end up here?”
The leader lowered his eyes to the ground. “Don’t you remember what happened, back then when I was your student?”
The Ohr Hachaim shook his head. “No one knew what happened to you. One day, about twenty years ago, you disappeared, and no one knew where you were. What happened?”
“I will tell you what happened,” Akiva said quietly. “You might recall that I was always a kaasan, someone who angered easily. I am extremely high strung, and it’s way too easy to get my temper flaring. And when I’m angry, I completely lose control of myself, and there are no limits to what I might do in my anger.
“One day, I got into a terrible fight with a close relative. He wanted me to do something, and I didn’t want to, and my temper was ignited. Things spiraled quickly, and possessed by my rage, I lost all control of myself. I took a knife and killed him, just like that.”
The Ohr Hachaim gasped.
“When I finally calmed down and realized what I had done, I was thoroughly disgusted with myself,” Akiva continued. “I could not believe how low I had stooped in my anger, and I could not forgive myself for my terrible deed. If I had fallen this low, then there was nothing left for me. I ran away, leaving my entire Yiddishkeit behind.
“That was how I began my career as a murderer. I murdered one gentile after the next, terrorizing towns with my cold-blooded acts. You would not believe how many people I killed. Eventually, this led to the creation of my gang, and this is what we do, stealing and killing for a living.”
“I don’t believe it,” the Ohr Hachaim said, closing his eyes. How could it be that a Jew, his own student, had fallen so badly?
To his surprise, the hardened murderer began to cry. “Rebbi, please help me. I’m convinced that the reason Hashem caused you to get lost and fall into my hands is so that you can help me repent. I am your student, and you have the responsibility of assisting your students to earn a place in Olam Habah. Please, you must help me!”
The Ohr Hachaim began to cry as well. “You are right,” he wept. “It says in the Mishnah, אבידת אביו ואבידת רבו אבידת רבו של רבו קודמת. If you find a lost object in the street where both your father and your rebbi live, you are obligated to give it to your rebbbi first, because your rebbi is the one who brings you to Olam Habah. I am indeed obligated to help my talmidim, and if you don’t do teshuvah, it will be my responsibility as well.”
Akiva wiped his eyes. “Rebbi, if you help me repent, then I will forgive you for the fruits you took from me. But if you don’t help me, not only will I not forgive the fruits you stole, but I will lead you back to my gang and you will be put to death. You must help me repent!”
The Ohr Hachaim looked at him askance. “You think that you can do teshuvah for such a terrible sin just like that? Do you know how much a person has to do to repent for a single sentence of lashon hara? And here you are talking about sins far worse! Anger! Murder! You think all it takes is a little threatening, and I’ll magically take it all away?”
The leader of the robbers lowered his head and his shoulders slumped defeatedly.
“I will tell you what you must do,” the Ohr Hachaim said, closing his eyes. “But I’m warning you that it will not be easy. It will be incredibly difficult for your soul to achieve atonement after the abominable sins you committed. If you listen to every word I say, I guarantee you that I will bring you to chayei Olam Habah. But if you don’t succeed in obeying everything perfectly, then you will not be able to come back to me afterward and complain. It’s in your hands now.”
Akiva set his lips into a determined expression. “Rebbi, I swear by your life that I am ready to do whatever you tell me.”
“The first thing you must do is leave your bad friends,” the Ohr Hachaim said. “You must leave them today, this very day. You will go find a small city to settle in, where you will live alone in a shul, completely separated from other people.”
The leader of the robbers inclined his head in agreement and waited for the Ohr Hachaim to go on.
“But before you go to the shul, you will need to go to a place near a river where there are snakes,” the Ohr Hachaim said. “You will look to find a newborn snake, just hatched. You will chase away the parents and capture the baby. Put it in a metal box around this big,” he demonstrated with his hands. “Add a little food, and place this box at the nape of your neck.
“You will need to wear the box at your neck for seven entire years, and remember to feed the snake every day,” the Ohr Hachaim cautioned. “You yourself will have to fast as much as possible. You will stay in the shul, fasting and praying that Hashem accept your teshuvah. You will do this for seven years.”
“And then what?” Akiva asked, not daring to breathe.
“After seven years, you will open the box and free the snake,” the Ohr Hachaim said. “You would imagine that after so many years of feeding it and caring for it, the snake will like you and leave you alone. But no. Just like you were a snake, who turned your back on someone close to you, the snake will betray you. It will bite you and you will die.
“But I guarantee you that after you die, your soul will go to Gan Eden and you will merit to ascend to the highest of places along with the greatest baalei teshuvah, because even the holiest tzaddikim cannot reach the place where baalei teshuvah can reach.”
Akiva’s eyes were pensive, but he nodded, realizing that he didn’t have another choice but to follow the Ohr Hachaim’s directive. “Is there anything else that I have to do?” he asked.
“You know what Torah is; you learned Torah by me,” the Ohr Hachaim told him. “You also know what holiness is, what purity is. You will need to immerse yourself many times over the next seven years, to purify yourself with holiness. And you will learn Torah day and night, never leaving the shul. After you pass away, you will be brought to kever Yisrael and you will have achieved atonement.”
Akiva fell onto the Ohr Hachaim’s shoulders, and both of them began to cry. The leader of the robbers cried for all the sins he had committed, for the destruction he had wrought upon his soul with his own two hands. And the Ohr Hachaim cried for the tremendous responsibility that had rested upon his shoulders, the responsibility of a rebbi for his talmidim.
“Akiva, Akiva,” the Ohr Hachaim cried, kissing his former student on both cheeks. “Please do teshuvah for your own sake, for the sake of your neshamah. No one lives on this world forever. If you repent, you will merit Gan Eden forever and ever. It will be hard now, but I am guaranteeing you that you will receive Olam Habah if you succeed.”
Akiva nodded determinedly. “I will do it,” he said. “I will leave my gang and follow your instructions to the letter. And I will take care of you until we can get out of here safely. I will make sure that none of my men harms you.”
The Ohr Hachaim grasped his hand, and together, they walked back to the house, where the gang was waiting for them, stamping their feet impatiently. Akiva stepped protectively in front of the Ohr Hachaim and addressed the robbers.
“Men, as you know, I really should be cutting this man apart, limb by limb. However, I must tell you that I know this man. He is a very great rabbi, a truly holy man, and if we so much as touch even a hair on his head, we will be punished severely by Heaven. Our very lives will be at stake. Trust me, it’s just not worth it.”
The robbers groaned in disappointment, but they trusted their leader. After all, he was not known to show mercy to anyone and had never hesitated to lope off heads.
“However, obviously he cannot stay here with us, jeopardizing our mission,” Akiva continued. “I will personally escort him away from this place, making sure that he doesn’t recognize the route and can never come back.”
Akiva packed up some of his belongings, taking along money for the journey as his men waved him off. With the assured steps of one who knows his way around the forest, he guided the Ohr Hachaim out of the woods and gave him directions on how to get home.
They stood by the river, ready to part ways, and Akiva fell upon his rebbi’s shoulder again, crying. “Please bless me that I should merit to do teshuvah,” he requested.
The Ohr Hachaim took both of Akiva’s hands in his own and blessed him. “Akiva, please do teshuvah, not only for yourself, but also for me. As your rebbi, I also have a stake in your spiritual state. Please do teshuvah!”
And with that final entreaty, the former gang leader and the holy Ohr Hachaim parted. The Ohr Hachaim took a boat across the river, following Akiva’s directions, and soon got home, but he never forgot the story. He would repeat it often, wanting people to understand the responsibility that a rebbi has for his students.
Akiva, in the meantime, began to search along the river for a newborn snake. It wasn’t easy, but eventually he came across a recently hatched snake, tiny in comparison to the mother snake it rested alongside. He killed the mother serpent and carefully picked up the newborn, placing it inside a small metal box. The snake was poisonous, but it was small and easy to handle.
Carefully, Akiva closed the metal box and strapped it around his neck. Then he went to find a quiet shul at the outskirts of a small village, where he could work on repenting without disturbance.
He wore the box every day of the week, except for Shabbos. He heard and felt the movements of the wiggling snake inside the box, each a terrifying reminder of the danger living at the nape of his neck, but he kept it up because he was determined to repent fully.
He stayed in the shul day in, day out, fasting as much as his body allowed. He immersed in the mikvah often and said copious amounts of Tehillim. He spent his days and nights engrossed in Gemara, surrounding himself with holiness. Slowly, he transformed from the leader of a murderous gang to a true tzaddik. For seven years, he grew spiritually, becoming a completely new person.
And then the seven years were up, and it was time to fulfill the rest of the Ohr Hachaim’s directive. Akiva reflected on how much he’d grown and changed, and he realized that there was still so much more that he could become, if only he had the time. With tears streaming down his face, he recited vidui and pleaded with Hashem to forgive him.
Wearing the metal box around his neck, he went down to the river to finish his mission. He said vidui again with every fiber of his being, wailing loudly. “Hashem, please forgive me!” he pleaded. “I want to have atonement for my sins, but I also want to live! Please grant me atonement and allow me to live!”
With trembling fingers, he opened the box, and the snake immediately reared its head, hissing murderously. It jumped out of the box and lunged for his neck, biting him in the throat.
He fell to the ground immediately, and not a minute passed before his soul left him.
Seven days after he passed away, he came to the Ohr Hachaim in a dream. “Rebbi,” he said softly, his face shining with joy. “I cannot describe to you what you did for me. You cannot imagine what kind of punishments awaited me here for my sins, but thanks to you, I was saved from it all.
“When I had my judgment, my aveiros were piled onto the scale, and I cannot begin to describe the terror I felt. I had done terrible deeds in my lifetime, deeds that I would have to pay dearly for. But then they began to pull out all my mitzvos, all the good things I had done over the past seven years. They put all my Torah and tefillah, all my tears and my suffering, onto the scale, and it was enough to grant me atonement.
“You told me what to do, and it wasn’t easy, but indeed, you were right. I received full forgiveness for my actions, and I am now in a beautiful place in Gan Eden. I am sitting between tremendous tzaddikim in a wonderful place reserved for baalei teshuvah.
“Rebbi, your mind and heart should be at rest, just like you ensured that I am now at rest. May Hashem pay you back for the tremendous chesed you did for me, and you should only know happiness from now on.”
With that blessing, Akiva disappeared.
The Ohr Hachaim woke up, and he was extremely moved. Moved by the power and responsibility of a rebbi to his students, but also inspired by the fact that even one who has fallen so low and commits the worst sins possible can also do teshuvah. With the proper repentance, Hashem is ready to wipe even the dirtiest of slates clean.
Have a Wonderful Shabbos!
This story is taken from tape #A281